SportsCenter Does A Hasslehoff........Vol. 2 (May 19, 2011)

Good Morning....I'm listening to ESPN last night and I think I hear David Hasslehoff's voice....Sure enough, Hasslehoff is commenting on Dirk Nowitzki's habit of humming (this is getting strange) a Hasslehoff tune while he is at the free throw line....A surreal moment....I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

Bulls/Heat come out of a timeout with 4 and change left and Lebron takes over....Series tied 1-1....But that was a Ding-Deng of a shot to end the 1st quarter.

Hoo-ray for Cavalier fans as 14 year old Nick Gilbert, son of owner Dan, selects the #1 pick in the NBA draft giving Cleveland #1 and #4....don't f#!& it up.

Do you have that gut feeling about Eric Hosmer like I do?....Bryce Harper is tearing up Single-A....From the where are they now? dept....Wily Mo Pena is playing for AAA Reno (Arizona) hitting .383 with a .444 OBP and  a 1.226 OPS....Throw in 14 HRS and 39 RBI and what do you have?....A right handed slugger who can't hit in the major leagues....ba-dum....The networks might have ended a couple of legendary soap operas, "One Life To Live" and "All My Children", but we still have our never ending soap "The New York Yankees"....Posada did this, Jeter did that, A-Rod said what?....And someone's dog got run over....Next week: wife swapping....Paul Simon did a show over the weekend in New York and dedicated his classic "Slip Slidin' Away" to Joe Giradi....too funny.

Let me get this straight....Royals pitcher Davies gets hurt and has to leave the game....Vin Mazzaro jumps in, gives up 10 runs in the 4th and Royals send him back out in the 5th for more punishment because they're running out of hurlers....Sets some kind of Major League bad record and Kansas City demotes him to Triple A....Taking one for the team and still getting your ass kicked (twice)....Doesn't seem right....On the lighter side, who was the rookie pitcher the Kansas City veterans had wear a Justin Bieber backpack on his way to the bullpen last night?....Now thats hazing!

Nasty weather at Fenway last night....Downpours, puddles, dense fog and chilly temps....Great date night....Red Sox pull it out in the bottom of the 8th on a clutch double from Saltalamacchia....Just rolls off the tongue.

Guess my hope that the Bruins and Jumbo Joe Thornton meet up in the Stanley Cup finals won't be happening....The B's have got their hands full of the aptly named Lightning and Vancouver has too much firepower for the toothless Sharks....Who is this Ben Eager?....What, is he the Ron Artest of the NHL?....Four penalties, of which two were just plain stupid....Then with his team down 7-2 and three minutes left he scores a goal and celebrates like he won the Cup with some trash talk thrown in....I think there is a seat in the press box with his name on it.

I've found the reason taser guns were invented....The Green Men....Tasers were made to take care of those two freakin' clowns in their green body suits obnoxiously annoying the Vancouver hockey crowd....But you know what would be better....Put their sorry asses out at center ice and have the announcer say "release the dogs"....That would be hilarious....As a matter of fact they should do that at all major sporting venues....A drunken moron stumbles on to the playing field and instead of chasing him, let him go....I can just hear the public address system announcing "Release The Dogs"!....talk to ya